Sexual Me

I want to clear something up.

This is on my mind a lot since doing comedy. Who you think I am and who I am. How you think I act and how I really act.

Especially the women who are scared to leave their husbands alone with me, or the men that think I'm trying to get in their pants because I give eye contact when I talk to them.

I talk a lot about sex on stage. I think about sex a lot off stage. But I'm not having as much sex as most people think I am. And I'm not out looking for it as much as you think I am.

A brief history — did I mention I am a Scorpio?

I've been single for more of my life than I have had a partner. I have no complaints about that. But it has meant that sexual experiences come at random times, sometimes planned, sometimes as a surprise.

I wrote my first show Teardrops on My Dildo when I was in a period of personal growth and individual dominance (aka: The Post Divorce Slut Phase). I was sending a big 'fuck you' to the world by 'fucking everyone'. And it worked. I got my power back.

When I was young, I slept with people for validation. A way to feel good about myself or feel like I had something to offer. Through early adulthood, I had sex for exploration and fun. In my 40's, I'm seeking more connection, even if the connection is brief and only sexual.

Sometimes all I want is fun.

I've had sexual encounters where we've both laughed the whole way through. Not in a derogatory way, but when two funny people have sex, the funny just gets funnier. Especially if you are both completely comfortable with each other.

No, I don't sleep with comedians. Anymore.

Sometimes I seek sex because my body tells me it needs it (sex dreams are the first indicator that I am on heat). This is when I sign back up to the apps, but the feeling passes without sex, and my vagina doesn't explode if it doesn't get a dick in it.

My point is, I probably have less sex than most people reading this. Well, I don't go 'years' but I definitely go months. I'm not out hard-core flogging knobs left-right and centre, but I know that's how I am often perceived because I've consolidated all the years of stories from my time on Earth into a 1 hour show. Well, now a 2 hour show — but again, sexual encounters is not the key theme in the show. Being a woman with sexual needs, sexual thoughts and sexual energy is.

There is a difference.

Why do I do what I do and say the things I say?

Sharing my stories, encounters and often secrets with my audiences — and now with readers — has made me realise how impactful they can be. People who have hidden things away and never shared them openly for fear of judgement.

Older women who are going to finally buy their first sex toy.

Men who are going to be more open to communicating with the intent to please their partners sexually.

Single women who aren't afraid to ask for, or even pay for, new experiences.

Trans people who are given permission to be themselves.

Not everyone walks away with 'more than a comedy show' when they watch me on stage, but a hell of a lot of people do. Their faces are lit up. They hug me. They thank me. I can see the liberation in their energy. There is a 'thank you' in their eyes that I can feel in my heart. Those moments of connection actually fulfil something in me that make me far less likely to be seeking sex — I am validated. I am connected.

And that's what drives me to share more.

And I do have more to share.

What's coming next: I've started writing blogs for Wild Secrets, including one that's the most personal thing I've written yet — about the time I paid a female sex worker for a sexual experience, and why I'm finally ready to tell it. I've also kicked off a little experiment I'm calling the Reverse Catfish — swiping with my ugliest possible photos to see who matches with the personality, not the picture. Updates on both very soon. Share this with someone who needs to read it, and I'll see you at a show.x

Vanessa Larry Mitchell

info@larrylaughsloud.com

14/07/2026